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| Just hanging out down at the riverfront. |
Get Your Community On
Last year, a study by researchers at Duke University reported that Americans are far more isolated socially than they were 20 years ago. Overall, the average number of people in our closest circle of confidants has dropped from around three to about two.
Robert D. Putnam, professor of public policy at Harvard and the author of Bowling Alone, a book about social isolation in the United States, supports the findings. His research has shown that Americans go on 60 percent fewer picnics, and families eat dinner together 40 percent less than they did in 1965. We are also considerably less likely to meet at clubs or go bowling in groups. The causes may be debatable, but, in any case, this increasing isolation can’t be good.
So, what’s all this got to do with public space? Quite a lot, it seems to me. My grandparents’ homes were built before World War II, and as I grew up in the suburbs, I noticed that there was a difference between where I lived and where they lived.
It looked to me like the world had rotated 180º. My grandparents put their cars (and their trash) in back of the house and their porches in the front. In recent decades we have located the porch on the back of the house, we call them “decks” now, and left the cars (and trash) in front.
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Coming together for a lunchtime concert in Gene Leahy Mall.
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Sitting on the front porch at grandma’s house presented us to the neighbors. People out for a stroll or walking their dogs felt perfectly comfortable coming over to chat. It was as if we had hung out a sign that said “Community Open, Please Come In.” We were oriented to the neighborhood’s public space and making ourselves available.
We can’t change the way our houses are built, but we can get back our sense of community and reduce our social isolation by using our public spaces. When we gather for an outdoor concert or stage a street parade or hang out on the sidewalk of a favorite eatery, we get our community on, simply by being together.
I may have hundreds of friends on facebook.com and correspond with dozens of people by e-mail every day, but it’s not the same. We don’t genuinely discuss matters of real importance. That has to be done in person. Moreover, making myself available to become part of a community helps me build my social network of people who will engage in real conversation.
You can start using public space in this way by first enhancing your existing relationships. Take the family on a picnic or for coffee. Relax and just hang out. In most areas of the city, simple people watching will stimulate conversation. This tactic gets everybody away from the television, computer games and other distractions and makes talking more natural.
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| Enjoying the day and each other in the park. |
Some of my closest friends, including my wife, were cultivated by making myself available in public places. It’s easy to do and has worked for me for nearly 20 years in downtown and the Old Market. It is nearly impossible for me to walk out my front door for coffee or a meal without running into somebody I know and stopping for a chat.
Simply find a spot that you like to hang out, preferably a sidewalk café, coffee shop, park bench or the like. Take a book, newspaper or even your laptop, but don’t wear headphones or a cell phone earpiece. This will signal others in the space that you are open to a dialog. Look up occasionally, smile and nod to recognize the presence of others and telegraph your willingness to interact.
If you develop a pattern of being in a space regularly, say, most Saturday mornings, you will find others who have a similar pattern and you will find yourself greeting the same people again and again. Often these interactions move from the smile and nod to a comment about the weather, to an observation about the news, to a short discussion, to a “Please join me,” to a new friend, and from that friend to his friend to her friend.
And so the isolation ends.
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